What Depression isn’t
Depression isn’t having intellectual conversations with loved ones while they pat you on the back with reassuring words, igniting the light at the end of the train tunnel. It isn’t hoisting coal into the chambers while you propel yourself forward into the light, nor is it the moon as it emerges over the horizon, illuminating ponds and lakes with a white sheen, darkened by shadows amid every stone and crevasse. Depression doesn’t wax and wane like the crescendos of a harpsichord, dancing on the stage with whirlwinds of motion until you crumble to the ground in a final, tragic bow.
Depression isn’t poetry personified; this image has been tarnished by poets who cast depression in an ethereal light, glamorizing the tidal waves of mood and immobilizing thoughts until it becomes nothing more than the tragic back story of a character who ultimately defeats their demons. Depression rarely has a happy ending, and not everyone who struggles with depression wins their battle.
What Depression is..
Contrarily, depression is the arms which rise from beneath your bed, holding you hostage for weeks, only releasing you from their grip for you to drag your feet to the bathroom or make a pot of store-brand coffee. Depression is lying on top of the blankets because you lack the energy to get comfortable, heat stifling in your bedroom because the heavy weight on your chest forbids you from adjusting the temperature. Depression is chain-smoking cigarettes out the window instead of eating, your stomach hollow but nonetheless paralyzed from feeling hunger. Depression is numbness eroding your brain, your body feeling foreign and distant.
Depression is foregoing basic hygiene until your hair becomes matted to your skull, your gums blood red, and your face coated in oil. Depression is wearing the same ratty sweatpants and tee shirt for a week because you lack the motivation to pull on a pair of jeans, the daunting thought of taking off your clothes weighing heavily on your mind. Depression is stacked plates and bowls on the kitchen counter, untouched food hardened on the porcelain.
Depression is self-isolation, the guilt suffocating as you tear yourself away from your loved ones, unwilling to burden them with your suffering. It is self-doubt and self-hatred, antagonizing yourself because you cannot perform simple tasks, scratching at your skin to see your veins just to prove that you’re alive. Depression is staring at the wall while your thoughts race within your head, colliding into the sides of your skull until they’re a muddled mess of emotions dripping down your cheeks. And yet, depression is feeling nothing at all while the tears are flowing, a dissociated fugue amid a fog of uncertainty.
It is witnessing the reaper and accepting his invitation, your hand reaching out to grasp something as tangible as death. It is succumbing to thoughts of suicide because you can’t handle the never-ending debate between living and dying, because sometimes you believe at least your mind will stop spiraling if you’re dead.
Depression is feeling helpless as you’re spoon-fed medication, as you’re delving into your trauma with a therapist, as you’re admitted into the psychiatric unit because you cannot even help yourself. Depression is being diagnosed with major depressive disorder with suicidal ideation by the criteria of the DSM-V, your doctor scribbling with a harsh, black pen that you’ve become a danger to yourself. Depression is a chronic illness that’s unseen by the naked eye, a stigma plaguing society with pre-conceived notions of what a depressed person should look like. Depression is guilt eating you alive if you take a day off from work because you’ve been conditioned into believing that your mental illness is not real. Depression simply is.
And yet, depression doesn’t have to be. Depression can be finding the right cocktail of medication that allows you to function on a daily basis. Depression can be developing healthier coping mechanisms to handle the intrusive thoughts that slip their way into the forefront of your mind. Depression can be forgiveness; the understanding that perhaps you may not be okay all the time, but you’re doing the best with what’s available to you. Depression can be manageable, but only if we bring it into the spotlight, raising awareness of what it is and isn’t, what it should and should not be.
Depression quote: “Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time. It’s the fear of failure, but no urge to be productive. It’s wanting friends, but hate socializing. It’s wanting to be alone, but not wanting to be lonely. It’s feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb.”
Symptoms of Depression..
Depression symptoms can vary from mild to severe and can include:
1.Feeling sad or having a depressed mood
2.Loss of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed
3.Changes in appetite — weight loss or gain unrelated to dieting
4.Trouble sleeping or sleeping too much
5.Loss of energy or increased fatigue
6.Increase in purposeless physical activity (e.g., hand-wringing or pacing) or slowed movements and speech (actions observable by others)
7.Feeling worthless or guilty
8.Difficulty thinking, concentrating or making decisions
9.Thoughts of death or suicide
Depression affects an estimated one in 15 adults (6.7%) in any given year. And one in six people (16.6%) will experience depression at some time in their life. Depression can strike at any time, but on average, first appears during the late teens to mid-20s. Women are more likely than men to experience depression. Some studies show that one-third of women will experience a major depressive episode in their lifetime.
Depression Is Different From Sadness or Grief/Bereavement……
The death of a loved one, loss of a job or the ending of a relationship are difficult experiences for a person to endure. It is normal for feelings of sadness or grief to develop in response to such situations. Those experiencing loss often might describe themselves as being “depressed.”
But being sad is not the same as having depression. The grieving process is natural and unique to each individual and shares some of the same features of depression. Both grief and depression may involve intense sadness and withdrawal from usual activities. They are also different in important ways:
In grief, painful feelings come in waves, often intermixed with positive memories of the deceased. In major depression, mood and/or interest (pleasure) are decreased for most of two weeks.
In grief, self-esteem is usually maintained. In major depression, feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing are common.
For some people, the death of a loved one can bring on major depression. Losing a job or being a victim of a physical assault or a major disaster can lead to depression for some people. When grief and depression co-exist, the grief is more severe and lasts longer than grief without depression. Despite some overlap between grief and depression, they are different. Distinguishing between them can help people get the help, support or treatment they need.
Ways to Defy Self-hate and Depression in the quest for Bliss(Non-Conventional method)
- Let go of feelings connected to Self-hate.
Anytime you feel depressed or the feeling overwhelmes you, try to fight back the feeling and always tell yourself that you deserve to be more in life than just being said and depressed . - Combat Negative talk and Motivate yourself.
When faced with depressive feelings, you tend to remember the negative words thrown at you. It is your duty to fight back and tell yourself that you deserve to be happy.
3.Surround yourself with Love.
In the light of this, try as much as you can to surround yourself with people that love and celebrate you no matter. Have some fun with friends and family and listen to some good music. - Get busy and Don’t be idle. Depression often hit people whenever they are idle, lonely and less busy. As the normal saying goes “An idle mind is the devils workshop “. You shouldn’t just be alone all by yourself. Get yourself engaged with something to do and always be creative and give in your best. It will help you get through it.
- Trust God’s word..
Here are some scriptures that can help you get better and this will help you understand that God knows your deepest pain.
Matthew 11:28 KJV
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest”.
“Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am”58:9b.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 KJV
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord , thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. [12] Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. [13] And ye shall seek me, and find me , when ye shall search for me with all your heart”.
2 Corinthians 1:2-3 KJV
“Grace be to you and peace from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ. [3] Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort”;
Romans 15:13 KJV
“Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost”.
Proverbs 12:25 KJV
“Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it stoop: but a good word maketh it glad”.
Ways to treat Depression? (Conventional method)
Medication: Brain chemistry may contribute to an individual’s depression and may factor into their treatment. For this reason, antidepressants might be prescribed to help modify one’s brain chemistry.
Antidepressants may produce some improvement within the first week or two of use. Full benefits may not be seen for two to three months. If a patient feels little or no improvement after several weeks, his or her psychiatrist can alter the dose of the medication or add or substitute another antidepressant.
Psychiatrists usually recommend that patients continue to take medication for six or more months after symptoms have improved. Longer-term maintenance treatment may be suggested to decrease the risk of future episodes for certain people at high risk.
Psychotherapy: Psychotherapy, or “talk
therapy,” is sometimes used alone for treatment of mild depression; for moderate to severe depression, psychotherapy is often used in along with antidepressant medications. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been found to be effective in treating depression.
Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) is a medical treatment most commonly used for patients with severe major depression or bipolar disorder who have not responded to other treatments. It involves a brief electrical stimulation of the brain while the patient is under anesthesia.
Please never resort to committing suicide as a result of what you are going through right now or what you have been through in time, rather seek help; talk to a friend or confide on someone and also pray because God surely loves you and he will not allow you wallow in the river of pain and suffering. I love you but God loves you more!
Abara-Iwuji Emmanuel
Dedicated to serve the good course of humanity
Very good written story. It will be helpful to anyone who employess it, including yours truly :). Keep doing what you are doing – i will definitely read more posts.