Former US First Lady, Michelle Obama, has disclosed that she and her husband, Former President Barack Obama, had a misunderstanding over implementing one parenting method with their daughters when they were younger.
During Wednesday’s episode of the former first lady’s IMO podcast alongside her older brother Craig Robinson, the two spoke to social psychologist Jonathan Haidt about using the Ferber method on their children.
The Ferber Method is a technique made popular in 1985 by Dr. Richard Ferber, and it’s used to sleep-train babies by teaching them how to self-soothe, per Cleveland Clinic.
As Haidt discussed using the Ferber method on his own son, Michelle said she and Barack didn’t initially agree on implementing the technique on their children, Malia, 26, and Sasha, 24.
“I didn’t want to do it,” Michelle said. “Barack did it and I don’t know that I could have done it because I wasn’t sure about it — the notion that you just let the little person that you love cry and cry.”
She said she struggled with the idea of letting her children cry, assuming her emotional reaction was related to her postpartum estrogen levels. “We set it up where Barack took the night shift. I went to bed, which was helpful because it got me some sleep,” the Becoming author continued.
Michelle added that she had to cover her ears while her children were crying in an attempt to give the technique a fair chance. The Ferber method did end up working for the couple quickly.
“It took no longer than a week [for the method to work] and it was really after the first two nights, because we started early,” she said.
The former first lady explained that her decision to turn to the Ferber method came after one of her daughters was weaned off of breastfeeding when she was four or five months old.
“It was very early so she learned quickly,” Michelle said. “The sooner that you start, sort of, removing the symptom, the quicker you start to implement the action, the more responsive the child is sooner.”
During last week’s episode of her podcast, Michelle revealed she’s “so glad” none of her children were boys. At the time, her guest radio host Angie Martinez asked why she and her husband didn’t try for a son to complement their two daughters.
Michelle replied: “Because he would’ve been a Barack Obama!”
Martinez said a “baby Barack” would’ve been “amazing,” at which point the former First Lady said she “would’ve felt for him,” referring to the hypothetical son under discussion.
